red wings, green eyes
by flawlessphoenix
Summary: In which Bucky and Steve conspire to get rid of redwing - Sam's new favorite thing in the world to talk about. Bucky/Sam/Steve pairing. Pre-slash. Crack.


"Hey guys, I just found a new setting that-"

"Great, Sam." Bucky and Steve interrupted in sync, voices dripping with disinterest and thinly veiled disdain. Not that Sam would notice.

The three men were sitting at the table over breakfast at the Avengers compound. Bucky and Steve using the table the way it was intended, eating their food, while Sam gushed over his new toy - Redwing. The day just started and Sam was at it again with Redwing.

Steve and Bucky chewed their breakfast menacingly stewing in hate for Sam's new beloved sidekick. Steve, wishing his glare could literally burn a hole through Redwing, missed the cracking sound his plate made after cutting too hard into his pancake. And Bucky was using his non-metal arm after crushing his third fork with the other wishing he were crushing Redwing. But their hate continued to go unnoticed by Sam, who was testing his vision linked goggles to see into the eyes of Redwing.

"This x-ray mode is amazing! Wow, is _that_ thanks to the super juice or were you both always _enhanced_?"

"What - Sam!" Steve chastised, kicking away the voyeuristic drone from under the table, while Bucky heimliched himself from choking on his meal.

Sam hovered Redwing away and swiveled its sight toward Natasha, who entered the kitchen and made a beeline for the coffee maker.

"Sam, don't test the limits of my love for you." She said without looking up and without an edge to her voice as she pours a cup of coffee for herself.

Sam complied instantly. "Sorry, Nat. I had to see how many weapons you carry on you at the start of the day."

"No less than an average mission." She took a long sip, leaning against the counter. "I'd feel naked without them."

Sam chuckled. "Good to know." He took off his goggles that paired him with Redwing's vision. He headed out of the kitchen with his versatile sidekick hovering behind him.

"Sam!" Steve called out, bewildered by Sam's sudden departure. "You aren't eating first?" He looked up with hurt puppy eyes.

Sam returned much to Steve's delight. And Bucky too, who tried to hide his smirk by ducking his head behind the bottle of syrup. Early that morning Bucky and Steve each had entered the kitchen to make a breakfast buffet for the team members staying at the Avengers compound. They had been surprised about at the other's arrival and brushed it aside calling it their shared Brooklyn brother bond that gave them the same idea without further query, deciding to form a breakfast alliance for the morning. The menu just so happened to include Sam's favorite. Blueberry pancakes. And if Sam just happened to be too distracted with the breakfast spread to pay any attention to the hovering menace, then that was the whipped cream on top of their stacks of pancakes. Of course, they'd never admit their true intention to anyone, not even each other.

Their delight quickly soured, however.

Sam grabbed a piece of bacon before deciding to take another. "I think it's time for a treasure hunt around the place." He grinned widely before he crunched into his bacon and marched out the kitchen with gleeful purpose.

"But we made blueberry pancakes!" Steve whined, desperate to bring Sam back.

"Call me when they become waffles!" Sam shouted back, unwilling to stop his venture.

"If you'll excuse me, fellas. Apparently, I'm going to spend the morning lead lining the inside of my room." Natasha tipped her mug, snagged a piece of bacon, and left the super soldiers alone to their big breakfast they slaved over to entice Sam away from his precious Redwing. An utter failure.

"Told you we should've made waffles." Bucky said lowly, jaw clenched.

This had become a regular occurrence lately with Sam choosing Redwing over quality time with Bucky and Steve time. Every offer from the super soldiers would be rescinded in order to spend more time with the mechanical menace.

Bucky had offered to take Sam to the farmer's market, stating birds shouldn't be cooped up in their cages for too long. Not only to get Sam away from the Avengers facility, but Bucky was convinced Sam has a secret superpower of knowing the perfect ripeness of any fruit - perfect accuracy, all the time. Unfortunately, Bucky frowned deeply when Sam didn't bother to give a comeback or a slight reaction at the bird joke. Sam only waved him off and continued to tinker around with the artificial attention hog.

Steve hadn't had any luck either. Sam and Steve enjoyed their time together at the park sitting on a bench, cap disguise included, with Steve sketching bypassers for practice and Sam talking about anything - including elaborate backstories behind the people Steve would choose to sketch. Sometimes it was hard for the conversation not to be kept going by Sam alone, not because Steve's focus was consumed by his art but from Sam's soothing baritone. Between the easy strokes of his pencil and amusing tales from Sam's past, their park trip did more to help Steve sleep soundly at night than running twenty miles and pulverizing punching bags ever could. In fact, Steve once jokingly suggested Sam would do a world of good if he became a radio personality. Sam's insights, wisecracks, and perfect melodies would make him an instant star across the airwaves. Sam had noted the one major flaw in Steve's career suggestion. "How could I deprive the world of this handsome face by hosting a radio show?"

Steve hadn't disagreed.

It's been weeks since their last outing.

Wanda was the next Avenger to come into the kitchen, delighted at seeing the available spread. It didn't take her long to sense the two men didn't share her enthusiasm despite their full plates.

"Something wrong with the food?" Wanda questioned once she settled into her seat, with a nice helping on her plate. Her fork in hand awaited an answer before she would dig in.

Steve and Bucky, stuck in their brooding, grunted out a 'no'.

Wanda dived in at their unenthusiastic green light. She hummed happily at her first bites. "Mmm. Very good."

"Not good enough apparently." Steve muttered.

Bucky looked up at that. And Steve, immediately sensing Bucky's gaze, met his eyes. Their Brooklyn brother bond caused Steve to meet Bucky's eyes and they engaged in a silent conversation with each other.

' _What did you mean by that? What's your deal, Rogers?'_ Bucky squinted his eyes accusatory.

' _Same as you, Buck. Or did you decide to cook with me this morning for no reason but to be nice?'_ Steve challenged with a quirked brow.

Wanda was either blissfully distracted by breakfast to notice Bucky and Steve's nonverbal conversation or pointedly staying out of their business.

Both men know each other well enough to guess why but dare not to speak it. Even nonverbally. How would it sound that two grown men, two elderly men at that, are jealous over a gadget? However it sounds, Bucky and Steve still felt something had to be done about Redwing.

"So you boys want me to destroy Sam's plaything?" Natasha sat at a desk in her room cleaning her pistols effortlessly as she hosted the super soldiers.

"Not destroy...exactly. Just render it useless." Steve said.

"You don't even have to do it the dirty work. Just let us borrow a gadget. Either the shock bracelets. Or the taser discs." Bucky remembered how well the latter worked against him.

"And you're going to do this, why?"

"Sam is obsessed-with Redwing." Steve repeated his earlier statement when the two men met with Natasha in secret - thankful for her extra measures to keep her room shielded from Redwing's spy capabilities.

She held up a hand, finished with her gun maintenance. "Yeah, I got that. But what is the **problem**?"

Steve scrunched his face. _What's the problem?_ "He's ignoring the people around him."

"Sure, I hardly see him without it lately and I'm exactly not a fan of that thing flying around the compound but -"

Now it was Bucky's turn to hold up a hand. "He even has it in his room while he's sleeping."

"With him in his bed?"

Steve blushed. "What!? What would we know about what Sam does in bed?" He rushed to defend himself like Natasha was accusing him of something. Which wasn't before, but is certainly thinking of circling back to that reaction later.

Bucky jumps in because _Keep it together, Steve._ "At this point, we wouldn't put it past him if snuggled with it and sung it Marvin Gaye to sleep."

Natasha chuckled at the imagery. "He'll get tired of it eventually," then shrugged. "All boys eventually tire of their toys. Plus it makes him happy, let him have his fun."

"We make him happy!"

Natasha raised her brows at Bucky's outburst. And Steve looks like he was beaten to the punch to voice the same sentiment.

"He means, **all of us**." Steve clarified. "We're all like family, he should be happy being with all of us."

"I don't know what else to say, boys. Other than: **it's a drone**." That should be enough for any rational person but her words don't wipe the looks of losing a slice of paradise off their faces. She sighs in pity. "Look, you both have nothing to worry about. Sam's not too concerned with Redwing right now anyway. He's too sick right now to mess around with drones."

Natasha didn't care for the two men's upturn in mood at the sound of Sam being sick in bed. But as long as weren't moping and asking her to assassinate a drone, she wouldn't question it.

With their Brooklyn brother bond, Steve and Bucky shared the exact same thought. No dumb gadget could provide Sam with a perfect pick me up. Steve knows what's best for a guy under the weather from his years a sickly boy. And Bucky knows how best to help from his days aiding the aforementioned sickly boy.

Steve had enjoyed hearing the sound of radio shows and watching TV through the neighbor's window, taking his mind off being stuck in bed. And Bucky remembered how better Steve slept without waking up in a fit of coughing after a bowl of soup.

Their plan to cheer up someone sick stuck in bed was formed. But they underestimated their rival drone.

Sure, Steve and Bucky could run up to fifty miles per hour but with pedestrians flooding the pavements and cars held up in rush hour traffic, it wasn't easy to plow straight to the destination like he thought it would be. And it wouldn't help their image if the press got wind of Steve and Bucky running on top of cars or shoving innocent people to get to a restaurant that made Sam's favorite chicken soup.

But for a small drone, it was a simple task. They weren't even aware Redwing could fetch items by command like the world's fastest and most efficient delivery service.

Bucky and Steve lost the battle but weren't giving up on the war. Next, they brought in a pile of DVDs to Sam's room. Sam was already set up with a stream of his favorite sick in bed movies.

"Hey, guys. Come to visit?" Sam was in the middle of Rumble in the Bronx when he noticed Steve and Bucky standing in his doorway. Sam had a liking to watching action flicks while sick, pretending it was his illness getting a beat down.

Steve and Bucky immediately hid the pile of movies behind them once Sam saw them.

"Yeah, we wanted to check in you. You alright? Anything we can do to help?" Steve asked.

"Nope. Redwing has been the best nurse. I knew it was installed with a healthcare assistance software to detect when I'm hurt in battle but I didn't know it works for when I'm sick too. It even keeps my soup **and** my room at the perfect temperature. Amazing, man." Sam moaned happily as he ate a spoonful of soup. "I love Redwing so much."

Even after waking up over half a century later in a world foreign to them, Steve and Bucky had never felt so obsolete as they did watching Redwing fluff Sam's pillows-taking care of Sam's every need.

"Well...uh, get better." Bucky closed the door on Sam cheering on Jackie Chan as a hovercraft ripped through the streets of New York-that did not look like the actual streets of New York, leaving the man to his movie.

The two men had to face the facts. Sam did not need them. They both stood awkwardly in the hallway unsure of what to do. They decided to go take their frustration out on Tony's new combat training bots for the remainder of the day.

With much of their frustration taken out on Tony's bots-which the creator called the mountain of mangled metal to be overdramatic overkill- and after a restful night's sleep, Steve and Bucky were able to clear their heads.

Music flowed from the living room calling Bucky and Steve out of their rooms like a siren to the sea-or an ice cream truck to the street. Both recognized it as music from Sam's playlist.

"How about something a bit slower, Redwing?" The music changed at Sam's request.

Sam evidently had a 24-hour bug because they found him in the lounge area, healthy, giving Vision and Wanda dance lessons with the help of Natasha.

Nat shook her head, perched on a stool. "You've got moves, Sam. But you're not as graceful as you'd like to believe. At least when we're on solid ground."

Sam snorts. "Coming from your Olympic acrobatic self that's not much of an insult. Your standards are higher than I can fly. Whatever." Sam swayed solo to the music with an imaginary partner. Redwing provides a spotlight to shine on Sam's performance, moving in sync to Sam dancing around the space. Wanda and Natasha chuckle at the sight, and Vision even finds the visual amusing.

Steve and Bucky stay back watching how happy Sam is with Redwing and still interacting with the team, and agree with Nat about getting over themselves.

' _What's that quote, Buck?'_

' _If you love something set it free?'_

' _Yeah. Sam ought to be able to fly free from us whenever he wants.'_

' _As long as he comes back to us.'_

' _Of course, that goes unsaid.'_ Which it did technically.

' _Let's give them their space.'_

"Oh good. Where d'ya think you're going, Steve, help me out here." Sam extends a hand for Steve to take. "You can prove you don't have two left feet like those old vids like say."

"Um…" _Remember what we said, Steve. Don't weasel out._ "Can't. Heading out for a jog, I'm sorry."

"How about you, Barnes?" Still extending out his hand.

"Another time. Promise. Have fun."

Steve blew out a breath. ' _That was rough to turn down.'_

"We did the right thing." Bucky clapped Steve's shoulder as they walked upstairs to change for their jog. "You know what, I think I left my cap back in the lounge room. I'll meet you outside." He made a U-turn and quickly walked back to where they left.

"Oh you jerk, do not think you're slick!"

"I'm weak, I admit it." Bucky sped into a run back to see if that offer was still up for grabs.

"He asked me first!" Steve caught up easily. It would be a razor-close behind.


End file.
